Leasing agents are super predictable: they tell you everything you want to hear to get you to lease the place, including (most likely) lies about the elusive ‘other very interested couple’. You go for it, even though they don’t show the place after 5pm, so you have no idea what it’s like to be living there with your neighbors home (I’ll tell you: it’s hell, with the baby elephant and his similarly girthy dad stampeding around all frikkin day), they don’t know details about the place (do you have recycling? no, I don’t think so… yes, they do. Where is the dog run? I don’t know… and it’s right in front of our balcony).

Then when something shitty happens, like people stealing stuff off your balcony, all you get is a ‘was it locked down? oh, it wasn’t? oh, sorry’ with an intonation that sounds like ‘you’re an idiot for even bothering to complain when you brought all this bad stuff on yourself’, and you can tell from her voice that she couldn’t care less.

You complain to them about the constant stampeding upstairs, and she says she would call the neighbors. When you finally can’t take it any more and go upstairs after hours to beg them to stop, it’s clear that the agent never called.

The latest: their payment system was down for two days right at the time of rent posting, so *they* posted the rent amount late, missing the automated payment schedule. I received the confirmation that payment was made and moved on. Yes, it’s my bad for not checking how much was taken out of my account, but after seven months of it working fine, one doesn’t suspect that paranoia is necessary. However, instead of an apology notice and heads up to make manual payment because *their* system screwed up, 3 days after rent was due they distribute a ‘pay or vacate’ notice. WTF is wrong with these people? Lividly, I march over to the agent who, not *once* says ‘I’m sorry’ instead explains this is policy, they have to file these notices. When asking why they couldn’t just call to check, she replies that there were too many missed rents this month… how is that for a clue, you idiot, that there may be something wrong you your end? Oh no, apparently they have a ton of deadbeat tenants who don’t pay or don’t pay on time, so they don’t bother to call anyone, just send out notices.
Even after it was clear that it was their fault, there was still no apologies, and she even went as far as to tell me not to ‘freak out’ if I receive the same notice in the mail. When asking them to remove the late fee, so I can make full payment, she assures, that no worries, according to my lease I have one ‘freebie’… bitch, you just don’t get it, do you, so let me spell it out:

1. Your system screwed up, which caused my money not being taken out of my account (I have bank statement to prove I had the funds waiting).
2. Instead of calling to find out why I didn’t pay (before you figured out it was your fault), you just give me a goddamn impersonal and assuming ‘pay or vacate’ notice, even though I have never missed rent before (in my life, actually)
3. When you finally figure out you screwed up (which I have to pull out of you, as you don’t volunteer the info), you STILL don’t apologize, and claim you did what you officially had to do with the notices.
4. The late fee should have not posted, especially that you already knew it was your mess that caused it in the first place, and telling me you can cancel it one time as a gesture is just effin bs.

So yeah, guess which regularly paying, non-noisy and non-problem-causing tenant will not renew the lease on this overpriced lightless and vulnerable to intruders dungeon? Oh wait, you’re a dumbass, so let me tell you: it’s me!